. I feel it in my bones
. she said, trembling violently under the crisp night air.
. Her heart beat [q u i c k ening] against my chest
. Slowing slowly, more ragged.
. She nuzzles closer, desperate for the two things I am unable to provide;
. Warmth and love.
. She attempts to blink back tears knowing they will freeze in mere moments
. obscuring what little there is left to see in our immediate vicinity.
. With her body slumped against me
. It feels like I am trapped in a grocery store freezer
. And we are two packages of meat waiting to expire.
. I try to comfort her, but, to be honest, prospects are looking bleak.
. I give her a quick squeeze and sigh, exhaling a swath of frosted regret.
. The subzero temperatures stab viciously as I wriggle my toes to stave off frostbite.
. The movement challenged by the ice-induced rigor.
. She looks up at me and tells me that she loves me.
. I mumble a response, vague, yet comforting and pray she believes it.
. After all, if I can’t give her hope in our last moments
. then I guess I’ve completely failed her.
. Her small frame stopped moving,
. the gentle heaving of the ocean turned to a placid lake.
. A small tear forms in the corner of my eye,
. not from the pain of loss,
. but the guilt from my lack of pain.
. Breaths get shallower, the corners of my vision fade.
. I succumb to the elements.
. I flatulated again,
. The violent ejection of pent up gas shatters the silence of my dwelling.
. Unmoving, I suffer through the angry/bitter sulphuric smell.
. It will pass just like all the other moments of my life, equally unimportant.
. S t r e t c hing to unknot the spasms stabbing my spine
. Caused by my corpulence, my rotund gut [ex t e n d i n g]
. and ing slightly with every thick, needing breath.
. A dejected look on my visage
. as disappointing thoughts pass fleeting through my mind.
. Is there really any more to life than this?
. Does my health really mean nothing to me?
. Did I leave my front door unlocked?
. I wonder these things but they change nothing.
. I change nothing.
. Everything stays the same.
. ing through the c ra c ks,
. I meld.
. Straddling the edges of time
. ||Flickering||, I caress the vacuum of space.
. Staring through the palpable matter I disdain.
. Astral projection my only release.
. / lensing curving spacetime,
. Gravitational /
. I view [myself] in triplicate.
. / my taut flesh.
. Mind absent \ The peace spread across /
. \ from the host, lingering.
. Unchanged for aeons, now irreconcilable.
. As the cosmos /tfihs/,
. w i
. s r in a haze of light twisted by overbearing mass.
. Returning, opening eyes, the blackness withdraws.
. My mind settles with a somber acceptance.
. A of longing unvoluntarily drawn from the corner of my lips.
. A sullen understanding that I will never know such serenity again.